Cid's story
by Filthy
Summary: Cid's thoughts about his life before going down into the crater. The title sucks, I know. (Rated for Cid's language.)


Disclaimer: FF7 ain't mine.

Cid's story.

  So this is it. The crater lies in front of us. Above us the fuckin' meteor is coming closer with each second. I know that it's so damned cliché to think about the life you've lead when you're about to die, but I can't help to wonder what has brought me here. And yes, I think I'm gonna die. I'm pretty fuckin' sure about it. If none of the friggin' monsters that I can see crawling down there will get me, then there's that fuckin' insane general to deal with. I can just see myself being impaled on that sword of his. That ridicoulsy long fuckin' sword. And if, by some miracle, I survive this battle, I'm sure that that big fuckin' ball'o'flame up there's gonna hit me right in the head anyways.

  So why do I fight then? I just have to look around me at all these fuckers around me to see my reason. If this is the end, I want it to be with them. When I first met this little group of morons, I really didn't like 'em. At all. When they stole the Bronco, my precious baby, I wanted to fuckin' kill them. But then again, I hated ShinRa just as much at the time. No, scratch that, I hated them more. Not only did they rob me of my dreams, but then they had the fuckin' nerve to shoot down my baby. And to think that I worked for those fucktards for almost fifteen fuckin' years.

  Yeah, that's right. I worked for 'em that long. I started my career as an errand-boy when I was seventeen. At eighteen I was called into the army and was trained as a pilot. That's the only good thing ShinRa ever did for me. They gave me wings. Before that, I had no desires to be up in the sky. It was also in the army that I discovered that I was good with machinery. So fuckin' good that after my two years of service, I was hired to design planes for ShinRa. 

  Later on, I think I was twenty-three at the time; I was called up to the president's office. Yeah, the big man himself wanted to talk to me. There I was told that they were starting something called the Space Program, and he wanted me to be a part of it. I was friggin' thrilled about it. Why? Well, ever since the first time I was up in the sky, I have always wanted to fly higher and further than anyone else. And what could be higher and further away than space?

  So I was set to work.  New place, new tools and a helluva lot of new ideas. Unfortunately, most of my good ideas were stomped on by my co-worker, that fat bastard Palmer. It was always a power struggle between us, the two heads of the small program. Back then it wasn't as big as it came to be later on. But it did grow fast. So fuckin' fast that after four years it was decided that one person was to be chosen as the head of the Space Program, who would be a part of the Board of Directors. The really big fuckers of ShinRa.

  Of course Palmer an' I fought for the position, and to this day, I have absolutely no fuckin' clue why he was picked. Sure, he was not stupid when it came to the kind of technology that we were usin', but compared to me he could might as well have been stuck in the dark ages. I was a goddamn genius compared to him.

  So then lard-ass was my boss, and I bet he enjoyed it. He pushed me down the career ladder so friggin' fast that I ended up in the fuckin' basement. The assignments I was given was so easy that a toddled could have done them.

  But the Space Program was really on the move and now it was time to build our first real rocket. We were sent out past the Nibel Mountains to set up a base. As the work progressed the base became more and more like a village. And before I knew it, our little base was known as Rocket town. And yours truly was the main man, the Captain. Palmer might have been the head of the fuckin' Space Program, but I was the head of fuckin' Rocket town.

  Rocket town was also where I met Shera. And damn, let me tell ya, for bein' an insensitive fuckin' bastard for a pilot, I sure fell in love fast. You didn't think I loved her, did you? But why the hell else did I push that button to abort the launch when her life was in danger, even if it meant pushing my own dreams aside? And maybe it was because I loved her that I got so pissed off at her. I have no excuse for how I treated her. Never once did I think that she might have been right. And now I don't know where we stand. But she is one of the reasons I fight.

  After the failed launch there was little for me to do as the rest of the crew was fixing the rocket up. That was when I had my baby. Did you ever wonder why I call the Tiny Bronco that? It's because I built her myself. Piece by friggin' piece. Then perhaps you can understand my rage when _they came and stole her. A blond hedgehog, a brute with a gun on his arm, a vampire wannabe, a cat on a stuffed mog, a bigger friggin' cat, a perfect example of the girl next door with big boobs, a brat and the frailest looking girl I've ever seen. Now don't get me wrong, I really liked Aries, one of the most horrifying moments in my life was when she died, but sometimes she looked like the wind was able to break her._

  When they stole the Bronco, all I could think of was getting on board and strangle them, one by one. But when ShinRa opend fire on us, my only thought was to get down to President Rufus and ram my spear up his ass. But since the fall would have killed me, I stayed on. 

  Now, when I think back on it, I don't understand why I joined up with these little fucks. All I can come up with is the possibility of revenge against ShinRa, but that doesn't seem like enough. Perhaps that's because I've already had my revenge. On our quest, which seemed endless for so long, we destroyed ShinRa. It will never be able to rise again.

  And now we all stand here, looking down into what I think is certain death. I don't share my thoughts with anyone, I'm sure they have their own. And no one needs the disencouragement. Our hedgehog leader gives us all a nod and takes the first step into hell, and we all follow. The brat walks beside me and looks up at me. I can see that she is afraid. Sometimes I forget that she is still merely a child. I place my arm around her shoulders and give her a quick hug. That is all I can do for her. I can't tell her that it'll be alright. That we'll make it out of here and live happily ever after. This is no fuckin' fairytale.

  In front of me the vampire wannabe turns around and gives me a rare, sad smile, halfly hidden by his cloak. He feels the same way I do; I can see it in his eyes. That we're going to die here.

  I'm going to miss you fuckers.

A/N

First of all, a big thanks to Weiila for beta reading.

I'm thinking about doing an extended version of this later on, mostly focusing on Cid's past in Midgar. Just drop me a line if you wanna see that. 


End file.
